lackadaisical laxative, say that i'm the shit that shit is passionless
and overplayed won't complain though, just put an asterisk
next to my name because I plagiarize half my shit
lecherous as lazaras, which to my knowledge is not that much
but then my knowledge is not that much, smoked half a blunt
like half a month ago, so yeah probably dude I gotta go
failings impossible it's a synch like kim possible's obstacles
professor mcgonagall couldn't stop my rhyming skills
or my ramen noodle makin skills, this is nonsensical
but I could be in Mensa tho, you might be in menopause,
you should go get tested yo, is there even a test for those
I don't even effin know, mario, letsa go
knock hockey, best of four, or five dope,
eyes wide closed hive mind in a gold mine on his hind toes
if you know what that means, please let me fucking know
but it's got an undertone, with dirt under toe
I'm current like an undertow, I don't even fuckin know
sound like an amateur because my rhyme scheme is off
ima be a bleeding heart teacher with a piece of chalk
got blood on my typewriter, i'm a dirty hipster
quoting hemmingway, write until you've got blisters
white lighting because black lightning was too scary
and it wouldn't really light up shit, but whose counting
the only person with grills should be the tooth fairy
YEAH. nigga i'll turn you red as a blue berry, YEAH
don't make me get my goon, terry
aka hulk hogan, but he's got a sex tape so he's out boning
going bowling like a detective in the 60s
I'll go get a tiger from, well…now it's just Sigfreid
it used to be this other dude too,
don't make me explode your brain like I was mew two
who do what you do, words like voodoo
speak urdo or don't, or hindu chop shit like mace windu
and kick through windows, bimbos with big 'fros
and big holes and rings on their big toes
don't fricken know, how to get to the kitchen, hoes
just kiddin i'm with feminism isn't it funny honey,
the beat claps like your meat flaps and I relapse with cunning honey
fasting, rap thing with a nasty wit
call me the hunger artist kaufka can grab a dick
say justice is just us, than say fuck it
and throw the dumb shit under the bus
and cuss, and roughhouse till a gun goes bluh blow
and cuts down the dude throwing rocks in the crowd
right in the crown, it's a little ironic, right
might be a coincidence I never know the difference
another drunken belligerent calling women
cunts and wondering where his women went
I got so many bars you should call me an irishman
get really stereotypical when I drink Heineken
i'm an impeccable specimen, if you're studying peccable specimens
like if you were a bird scientist or some shit
you'll get it when you're high, i'm high as a ditch
click clack on the trick track as we kick back
call my dick whiplash, cuz it hurts people
don't know about ernie but i'm sure as shit burt's evil
fucking pigeons are nasty ass things
fucking fucking rats with nasty ass wings
just kidding I don't have convictions that'd be uncool
or maybe now it'd be kinda cool, times change I'm a fool
but fools were the shit in shakespeare
you don't know shit over compensate and shake your spear
all I do is fuck bitches get Monet, all I do is fuck bitches get Monet
dude was a great painted okay?
say dope say yo say doh, if you say so
i'm an odyssey if you're Homer than i'll mold ya like play dough
we don't play though, hey yo hey ya
outkast, sorry ms jackson, your daughters kinda fat though
something something something the point is I'm an asshole
i'm like kendrick lamar asher roth and das racist mixed with asimov
never backing off, check those references i'm so cool
so self aware, you wish you thought of this first
generation self aware, colder than winter
and maybe this is all an excuse for me to be lazy when I write raps
too meta for you, think it's time for a night cap, night 'captain
(pause) no i'ma fight back and rap till the song fades out
or breaks down, or whatever it is that songs do
this was my attempt to relate to you
this was my attempt to relate to you
when I think of a better ending i'll page it to you
BITCHHHHHHHHHHHH